I am autonominating myself for an N950 commission.I am nominating myself
because I deserve one.There, I said it.I am not going to buff your pylon
with faux whimsical bullcrap to project a defensive screen of
nonchalance to laminate the true motivation behind my entry. You are
offering free hardware.Not just any hardware, one of the most desirable
pieces of pocket computing to have been manufactured in the past 5
years.The mailing list has been swamped with entries from ghosts who
have just heard there are some free phones going.They do not deserve a
community award.I deserve a community award and I have earned one.To
deny my nomination would be to undermine the very point of the community
awards and to make a mockery of the long standing tenants that are so
central and important to the ancient and noble community awards tradition.

I deserve a CA on account of the sheer volume of my useful contribution
to MO in the form of help, knowledge and to a lesser extent, wiki work.I
base my submission on this and the fact that I do not qualify for any of
the other categories.I would like an N950 please.Yes, the shiny one.Feel
free to announce my ascension to the level of N950 owner before or after
the submission deadline, I do not mind.

There are dozens of such cases of my unmitigated dedication to the
community's success.One of the best metrics of this is MO karma.As a
non-code contributing, non old-schooler, non ex-council member I have an
imperial shit ton of karma, more so than any other TMO user of my type.I
have almost twice as many 'thanks' as posts on TMO. This is good
indication of the quality of my input.

It seems so passé to list my contributions, as to list them is to
tarnish the sheen of my ego.However I shall attempt to distil the
essence of the magnitude of my contribution to MO with some trivial
examples.I have been an active TMO member since the beginning of 2011
when I received my first N900.Since then I have consistently been
solving problems for users whom are suffering from a lesser Linux
endowment.Since this time I have relentlessly provided, scripts, hacks
and bodges for fellow TMO users to address the weird niggles in ways
that no other user can even conceive of.My very first ever post was a
script for running with CRON for 'smart email checking WRT condition of
wifi module'.You remember the person who orchestrated the 'N900 for
davyp' (javaME for n900 developer).BANG, that was me.NEXT PROBLEM
PLEASE.You remember when some users where discussing ways to enable the
longpress of the camera focus button while the n900 was locked.The best
solution they had come up with was dbus-scripts doing some pokey
haxery.'chmod 444 /path/to button/disable'BAM.JOB DONE.Next problem.You
remember the guy who could not access backup menu because his keyboard
slide detector was broken?I provided a 1-liner that edited his
'rc-early' to check the camera slide instead of the keyboard.BOOM
HEADSHOT.JUST BRING IT.Who trawled through the gst-dsp lib code to
figure out how to reduce the JPG compression for better photos? ME.GET
SOME. (All hail FMG for implementing this, praise his might).When a user
could not determine if it was his LCD that was defective, who sent him
their spare on the single proviso he would pass it on the next user who
may need it for trouble shooting.YEAH BABY, TWAS I.

This stuff is not coding.This is not even particularly witty.But it is
solutions to problems that TMO users have faced.My time is spent helping
others use their devices.They enjoy their N900s because I am here to
facilitate this.That is community, that is dedication and that is the
type of behaviour that deserves an award.

This is not an award for coders who wrote an egg timer in QML, it is an
award for contributors who have kept TMO alive.Even after most of the
big dick hitters have left for greener pastures made of robots.These
awards are for the members who have remained.They have stood firm, as
the last bastions of Maemo, defenders of mobile open source pocket sized
computing.In the face of absolute obliteration posed by an army of
i-clone green robots we have stood our ground and never quit.Against the
flakfire of whatsapp drones crackling overhead and mortars of redundancy
raining down, taking out our sharing plugins one by one.Despite the
overwhelming quiet from the bodies of our fallen comrades who's accounts
have grown silent. We will fight obsolescence on the landing grounds, we
will fight it in the app stores and on the streets.We will defend our
tiny notion...of what a smart telephone is, I will never surrender!